


I've Told You Now

by being_whovian



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 06:54:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3371963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/being_whovian/pseuds/being_whovian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor seeks out Jack to help him through his depression.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Told You Now

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: For Last of The Time Lords if you haven't seen it! Not all of the way through but :)  
> Notes: This was written for badly_knitted's prompt, 'Any, Any. Lost in the feeling.' on fic_promptly.  
> Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who!

The TARDIS hummed quietly, her Time Lord's fingertips tracing the cool metal of her console, whispering calm words to her through their telepathic link which had become stronger than ever after the Master had turned her into a paradox machine. She could feel his pain and his anger through those delicate touches. She was feeling still a bit sorry for herself, her Time Lord trying his best to repair her though with a muddled mind and a hollowed soul it was proving difficult alone. 

The Doctor sighed quietly, his hearts growing heavy in his chest as he leaned against the cool metal console, his head bowed and his brown eyes closed. His legs were crossed at the ankles and he felt alone. So alone... who was he kidding? He was going to be alone anyway... it was never going to change. He felt her hum in his mind, a soft and gentle sound, coaxing him out of his loss and his anger. 

The Doctor's muscles relaxed ever so slightly, his head tilting slightly to the left as he thought back to that long and lonely year. Martha Jones - oh Martha Jones she was a star. He'd given her such little instruction... but she proved herself that year, walking the Earth and saving the human race and she was brilliant. A woman with a brave heart and a strong sense of will. He missed her. His Martha Jones. He swallowed down the sadness, feeling that small tear in his hearts growing larger. He had ruined her life. He could never diminish the guilt that swamped him. That swallowed him up every time he let himself think of her. 

The TARDIS hummed quietly in his mind, soothing her Time Lord with soft strokes and quiet whispering hums. It saddened her that he was alone. She could speak to him, make him feel better about himself but she couldn't stitch up the tears in his hearts. She couldn't heal the damage in his mind left by the Master and by the loss of his beloved companions. She wished she could help him in such a way but she couldn't. 

She was stationary soaking up the energy from the Rift. She brought up the scene of the outside world hoping it wound entice the brooding Time Lord to take a breath of the fresh sea air and clear that mind he'd filled with demons. The Doctor frowned. He could see the Water Monument... he remembered Jack running towards it when he had departed after his ordeal with the Master. He pushed himself away from the console, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. He felt the TARDIS encourage him to leave, she wanted him to be him for a while. Everyone needed a break from a brooding session. 

With a sigh and a quiet click of his tongue, he stuffed his hands in his trouser pockets making his way towards the doors, picking up his long brown coat on the way, shrugging it on never speaking a word. When he pulled open the door and peeked out his eyes squinted as the sun beat down on Cardiff and his hearts sunk that tearing feeling causing a shiver to roll down his spine. With his head bowed he stepped out, pulling the door closed behind him, the lock clicking, locking him out. 

Where should he go? He never really went anywhere... he normally stopped, let her soak up the Rift energy and then left again. She obviously didn't appreciate him brooding when she was still herself in a state of pain. His brown eyes scanned his surroundings, feeling an uneasy knotting in his stomach. He had avoided human contact after loosing both Jack and Martha. He had retreated so deep into himself he hadn't uttered so much as a hello in such a long time. He wandered towards the railings looking over the bay, hands tucked deeply in his coat pockets, avoiding eye contact, he wasn't sure he could look at anyone, without seeing some kind of resemblance to someone he had lost. Sometimes he wondered if his mind was betraying him... tricking him into seeing someone who wasn't there. He chewed his bottom lip, his hands revealing themselves and reaching out to grasp the railings before him. 

He watched as the water washed over the sand and back out again. He soon crossed his arms resting his chin and he closed his eyes, letting the salty sea breeze wash over him, ruffle his hair and blow through his coat. The sun's warm rays warmed up his skin and he found himself smiling for the first time since they walked away leaving him behind. He found his fingertips tapping away to one of those old Earth songs Martha had exposed him to, his mind running blank for some blissful moments. He sighed heavily, people ignoring him, just going about their day to day things and he felt his hearts slow into an even pattern, his breathing settling as he relaxed against the railings. 

He should be more aware and alert but he couldn't help himself. He felt both physically and mentally drained and he just didn't care any more. He was sure this was why his old girl had now locked him out. He knew she didn't like him hurting but he couldn't help himself for growing close to someone... they made him feel more alive and less alone. He let out a breath through his nose and listened to the seagulls and the chattering of people. He soon rested his right cheek against his arms, turning away from the sun, his knees relaxing and bending slightly. 

He was so closed and away from the world he never realised the heavy quick footfalls of someone coming closer to him. He wanted to savour the feeling of having nothing to worry about. 

“Never thought I would see the day that the Doctor stood still for more than a second.” 

He smiled slightly, despite that horrible tear again in his hearts and that knotting in his stomach appearing again. That voice was one he missed although it wasn't exactly how he remembered it. It sounded different. He cracked open an eye to see a familiar face grinning at him. 

“It's good to see you Jack.” he said quietly, ignoring the other man's odd greeting. He slowly stood and groaned, stretching out the kinks in his neck, rubbing his right shoulder with a slight grimace at the feeling. 

“It's good to see you too, but why are you here?” 

“TARDIS has grounded herself... she's locked me out.” 

Jack laughed at that. The TARDIS always had a reason for her odd ways. When the Doctor had finally stretched and straightened himself out, Jack pulled him into a hug. He frowned slightly when the Doctor didn't respond. The Doctor stood, his arms almost looking like they were going to wrap around the other man but never did. His eyes were closed, his broken hearts thumping heavily in his chest as Jack held him in his arms. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I-I don't know...” 

Jack pulled away from the Doctor, looking at him, the others brown eyes still closed and shutting him away. He kept his hands on the Time Lord's sides, his mind running off with him as he looked over him. He looked so small... and fragile. He could see the conflicting emotions on his face and those battered hearts all locked away in a futile attempt to keep them safe. He watched as those brown eyes opened and he removed his hands. He knew his presence hurt the Time Lord, which in turn hurt more than anything else. 

“Come with me...” 

“Jack...” the Doctor muttered, wringing his hands as he looked at the floor. He wasn't planning on staying. Jack flashed him his best smile. The Doctor frowned slightly, his hearts clenching tightly in his chest as he looked at the smile, that tear almost reaching its destination in both hearts. He swallowed, looking at the floor muttering an almost inaudible “Okay.” 

***

“Where's your team?” 

“Seems they did just fine on their own... they seem to just breeze past me sometimes like I'm a ghost.” 

“I'm sorry Jack.” whispered the Time Lord, rubbing the back of his neck, those brown eyes downcast. Jack dismissed the apology with a wave of his hand, then gesturing to the chair on the other side of his desk. The Doctor made another face, pushing back his jacket and stuffing his twitching hands in his trouser pockets, before looking at the chair. Jack raised an eyebrow. 

“Just sit down... I haven't shagged anyone on it...” Jack smirked slightly, “Yet.” 

The Time Lord shot the other man a dark look but a small smile tugged at his lips and Jack mirrored it, his old friend still looking older. Something was weighing him down but something in Jack was afraid to ask him. Jack leaned back in his chair just studying the other man closely. 

He looked uncomfortable in his own skin, his eyes hollow looking and the start of dark circles were appearing. He looked exhausted and... lonely. Jack looked down.

“I'm guessing Martha never stayed?” 

The Doctor shuddered slightly in his seat, his stomach twisting and knotting tightly just at the mention of her name. He still missed her. He removed his hands from his pockets and linked his slightly trembling fingers together. 

“No... no she went home. Her family need her more than me.” 

“I highly doubt that you don't need her at all Doc...” 

The Doctor sighed running his hands through his hair. He wasn't quite sure what he needed, or what he wanted for that matter. Of course he was lonely but he wasn't sure in what sense any more. He sat silent for a moment before whispering something along the lines of “I'm not sure what I need any more.” 

Jack stood and walked around the desk standing before the distant Time Lord. The Doctor looked up with a rather sceptical look as Jack gestured him to stand. He huffed pushing himself up. Jack opened his arms and the Doctor frowned. He wasn't sure if he could handle the closeness. He looked down again, moving his foot awkwardly, his hearts pounding in his chest. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. Jack wasn't wrong. He was just different. A different that he wasn't used to himself. A different he wouldn't mind discovering if he ever had the chance to. 

He felt Jack wrap him up in his arms and he sighed, finally giving in to his conflicted mind, wrapping his arms around his friend, resting his chin on Jack's shoulder. He felt his eyes close again, his heavily beating hearts lifting, his breathing evening out, getting lost in this moment, Jack just holding him. A small smile appeared on his lips as he whispered, 

“Thank you Jack.”


End file.
